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  1. #1

    Default Cheesy Welder Jokes Anyone?

    add one if you got one...no joke too cheesy!!!

    A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display.
    While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper,
    "I'll have an AutoCAD monkey please." The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a
    cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fitted a collar and
    leash, handed it to the customer, saying, "That'll be $5000." The customer
    paid and walked out with his monkey.
    Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very
    expensive monkey. Most of them are only few hundred dollars. Why did that
    one cost so much?" The Shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey can draw in
    AutoCAD - very fast, clear layouts, no mistakes, well worth the money."

    The tourist looked at a monkey in another cage. "That one's even more
    expensive! $10,000! What does it do?"
    "Oh, that one's a Design monkey; it can design systems, layout projects,
    mark-up drawings, write specifications, some even calculate. All the really
    useful stuff," said the shopkeeper.

    The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in its
    own cage. The price tag around its neck read $50,000. He gasped to the
    shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the others put together! What on
    earth does it do?"

    The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven't actually seen it do anything, but
    it says it's a Welding Inspector.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Cambridge, MA
    Posts
    213

    Default

    from a laborer that i worked with:

    "what do you say to a guy with an IQ of 4?"
    ...
    ...
    ...
    "Tack it."

    to which we responded:

    "how do you confuse a laborer?"
    ...
    ...
    ...
    "Throw 3 shovels on the ground and tell him to take his 'pick'."


    and my personal fave is more of a one liner:

    "You know they can teach monkeys to weld."
    "Yeah but THEY quit after they get burned once."
    American By Birth, Union by Choice!

    4th generation Pipefitters LU 537

    SpeedGlass 9000x Hood
    Miller Elite Titanium 9400 Hood

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Whitehorse, Yukon
    Posts
    279

    Default

    What do welders and wheel barrows have in common?

    They're hard to push around and easily upset
    Big Blue 400D
    Trailblazer 302
    Miller S-32 suitcase
    12VS suitcase
    Lincoln LN-7 (BIG suitcase)
    Victor torches
    Lincoln 350MP with 35' push-pull gun
    Lincoln PrecisionTIG 375
    Spectrum 1000 plasma cutter

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Edmonton, Alberta
    Posts
    89

    Default

    How are welders like prostitutes?

    You usually find them in awkward positions screaming for more rod & more money.

    J
    "When the wise old rooster crows, the smart young rooster listens."

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Oahu, Hawaii
    Posts
    2,469

    Default

    Jason wins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I'm not late...
    I'm just on Hawaiian Time

  6. #6

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jasonspoon View Post
    How are welders like prostitutes?

    You usually find them in awkward positions screaming for more rod & more money.

    J


    Thats a good one.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Central Idaho
    Posts
    203

    Default

    How many welders does it take to change a lightbulb?

    None. Welders aren't afraid of the dark.

  8. #8

    Default

    What's the difference between a welder and a baby?











    A baby eventually stops cryin' and grows up.
    Proud Member of Local 7 - Plumbers and Steamfitters

    AMERICAN by BIRTH - UNION by CHOICE



    -Miller Dynasty 200DX
    -Hobart Handler 140
    -Tons of other crap that my lovely wife wants me to get rid of but I know I'll need if I do

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    7

    Default

    how do you get a welder to bath....








    put his food stamps under the soap

  10. #10

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by toddac1 View Post
    how do you get a welder to bath....








    put his food stamps under the soap
    welders get food stamps

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