a thread celebrating the "not so bright"

[welder_one]

not too long ago, a man brought a trailer to me fro me to weld a piece of metal onto the tailgate. i cut and fit and pull out the machine to start welding. my hood is the miller elite '27 roadster and as i put it on, this man commented on my hood. i siad thanks. i then say cover and flip my hood down. after a few good tacks i hear the man yell "holy s**t" i look up quickly thinking that i started a fire and i see him holding his eyes. i said whats up and he said dang that light is bright. i told him that you are not supposed to look at the light. without missing a beat, he asked "well how are you looking at it?" resisting the urge of saying that keep my eyes shut while welding, i told him that the lens in the hood filters the light. he walked off, so i struck arc again. after about 5-10 more minutes, i hear him yell again and this time thinking "lesson learned" there really is a fire this time. i look at him and he is still holding his eyes and saying that it didnt work. "what didnt work" i asked. he handed me a pair of sunglasses. i asked him to leave and i would call him when the trailer was done. later he returns to pick up the trailer and i told him about potatoes and vicks rub for his eyes, we talked about drunk chickens. and how he had a hard time getting a beer can stuffed in a chicken. i told him about a can holder that i made that holds the can and has a leading edge to cut into the chicken and the push the can from the bottom while removing the tool. i made it out of aluminum. he said that he didnt want a chicken that had been in contact with a piece of aluminum. "what do you think a beer can is made of?" i asked. he said not aluminum. where do these people come from???

[Steve]

I was welding props for outboards a while back. An individual comes in with a prop and asks me how much to fix it. He had sheared 2/3 of one blade off which was lost to the water gods, but to keep the motor from vibrating and keep fishing for the weekend had hacksawed 2/3 off the other two blades which he had in hand. Sure kept the vibrations down and sold him a new one. The ingenuity of America.

[welder13]

not too long ago, a man brought a trailer to me fro me to weld a piece of metal onto the tailgate. i cut and fit and pull out the machine to start welding. my hood is the miller elite '27 roadster and as i put it on, this man commented on my hood. i siad thanks. i then say cover and flip my hood down. after a few good tacks i hear the man yell "holy s**t" i look up quickly thinking that i started a fire and i see him holding his eyes. i said whats up and he said dang that light is bright. i told him that you are not supposed to look at the light. without missing a beat, he asked "well how are you looking at it?" resisting the urge of saying that keep my eyes shut while welding, i told him that the lens in the hood filters the light. he walked off, so i struck arc again. after about 5-10 more minutes, i hear him yell again and this time thinking "lesson learned" there really is a fire this time. i look at him and he is still holding his eyes and saying that it didnt work. "what didnt work" i asked. he handed me a pair of sunglasses. i asked him to leave and i would call him when the trailer was done. later he returns to pick up the trailer and i told him about potatoes and vicks rub for his eyes, we talked about drunk chickens. and how he had a hard time getting a beer can stuffed in a chicken. i told him about a can holder that i made that holds the can and has a leading edge to cut into the chicken and the push the can from the bottom while removing the tool. i made it out of aluminum. he said that he didnt want a chicken that had been in contact with a piece of aluminum. "what do you think a beer can is made of?" i asked. he said not aluminum. where do these people come from???

Haha, the title sais it all

[wldrman]

At the shop the other day, we were having a problem while tapping holes in aluminum. The holes are tapped from either side, leaving about 1/8th inch of space in between the 2 holes. Well, needless to say, their was alomost always a chip left inside this little space. One of the machinists suggested tapping all the way through the hole. One of the enginers said "If you do that, you will have a left hand thread on the opposite side!"

What a waste of a college education.

[jwsrep]

Quite sometime ago when I used to work the counter for the same employer I have now, we had a guy come in carrying a welding hood and the clear cover plates for it. He handed me the spatter covered glass cover plate and asked if I could get him a couple of new ones. I told that I could, but asked him what type of welding he was doing and he told me he was MIG weling. I recommended he go with the cast resin lens' because the spatter would not stick to it. He thanked me and agreed on the cast resin. It was strange because I started to notice he was blinking quite a bit. I then asked him if the shaded lens in his hood needed to be replaced. He asked me "What are you talking about?" "What is a shaded lens?" I then asked him to hand me his hood and whata ya know? NO SHADED LENS!! I sheet you not!!! I asked him if he knew that he was supposed to have a shaded lens in the helmet he said no...then he said "I was wondering how people see when they weld." "The light was awful bright."I then looked a little closer at him and sure enough around his eye/nose area you could start to see a raccoon mask sunburn. I asked how long he had been welding and he told me a couple of hours. To which I told him he was in for the most uncomfortable night of his life.

Here's your sign!

[dabar39]

Quite sometime ago when I used to work the counter for the same employer I have now, we had a guy come in carrying a welding hood and the clear cover plates for it. He handed me the spatter covered glass cover plate and asked if I could get him a couple of new ones. I told that I could, but asked him what type of welding he was doing and he told me he was MIG weling. I recommended he go with the cast resin lens' because the spatter would not stick to it. He thanked me and agreed on the cast resin. It was strange because I started to notice he was blinking quite a bit. I then asked him if the shaded lens in his hood needed to be replaced. He asked me "What are you talking about?" "What is a shaded lens?" I then asked him to hand me his hood and whata ya know? NO SHADED LENS!! I sheet you not!!! I asked him if he knew that he was supposed to have a shaded lens in the helmet he said no...then he said "I was wondering how people see when they weld." "The light was awful bright."I then looked a little closer at him and sure enough around his eye/nose area you could start to see a raccoon mask sunburn. I asked how long he had been welding and he told me a couple of hours. To which I told him he was in for the most uncomfortable night of his life.

Here's your sign!

I wish this had been posted on another forum, I got into a bunch of sh!t on another sight for suggesting all persons purchasing a welder should be required to take a training course before being allowed to purchase and use them. Scares me to think this guy is building stuff that may be rolling down our highways. Dave

[fun4now]

thats some funny stuff.
you have to wonder how these people live so long???? its a good thing you don't have to remember to breath.

[jjsjeff]

I wish this had been posted on another forum, I got into a bunch of sh!t on another sight for suggesting all persons purchasing a welder should be required to take a training course before being allowed to purchase and use them. Scares me to think this guy is building stuff that may be rolling down our highways. Dave

I think I read that thread, but if you're going to license people to buy welders you should do the same for people buying a pneumatic framing nailers. Lots of amateurs getting involved in house construction during the last housing boom.

P.S. I haven't been to church since I was a kid, but I remember a song that we used to sing: "This little light of mine...I'm gonna let it shine...this little light of mine...I'm gonna let it shine...let it shine...let it shine...let it shine!"

[BWS29128]

its a good thing you don't have to remember to breathe.

Ain't it tha d*mned truth!!!

(STILL laughing at these posts!)

[welder_one]

this one happened at the begging of this year and before i start, i have to tell you that i work for the largest sign company in the world. it is very easy for me to say "what do we build here?" "here's your's, by the way"...lol... it starts out, i was working on a job for the logan international airport, in boston. the signs are 2x2 square tube frame, with 5 inch i-beam running horizontal, and 8 inch i-beam stacked on top running vertical(architect drawings). the plant production supervisor comes to me while i was working on this sign and asks a time frame for completion, i had lost my voice about a day or so before, so my fitter answered his question"all we lack is finishing up" this supervisor then asked what was wrong with my voice and the fitter said that the fumes from welding had burned my voice. supervisor then asked me" well stan, dont you wear a hood? i had hood, leathers, gloves, and respirator on and standing on the sign when he asked me. my fitter then said, nope he puts it on after he gets done welding. this supervisor know has the nickname"stupidvisor" i have many more stories to tell on stupidvisor, but i'll wait until this thread takes off a little more.