a thread celebrating the "not so bright"

[Fred Smith]

Not quite in line with the thread but funny.

In the machine shop one day we were trying to figure out how to clamp a warped part, we decided it needed a couple shims under it. the machinist pulls out some shim, looks around and utters someone stole my supervisor tape. I ask what the f**k is supervisor tape. He says you know, double sided tape, aka 2 FACED! Guess the management/employee relationship had deteriorated a little..

[fiat128]

[QUOTE=BDJ;18516]

My uncle is a millwright at a lumber yard, years ago he told me the story of a man accidentally cutting his fingers off (hands in the wrong place) while running a trim saw. They were able to put his fingers back on, but later he was showing the safety man and supervisors exactly what happened HE CUT THE SAME FINGERS OFF AGAIN. He promptly lost his job. Almost unbelievable ain't it

That has to be the funniest thing I ever read on the internet. Let me guess was it one of these two?

[migwelder05]

hey man i may be blind ,but i aint that blind ...and NO they do not look better at last call.


here's my woman... see a REAL TEXAS WOMAN

**** she nice

[jweller]

just this Saturday in the auto parts store:

I'm looking for a check valve that is no longer holding pressure, it flows both ways. After the clerk tells me hes never heard of a check valve in a fuel system, (really, cause I've got one in my hand right now) and how he works on stuff "all the time". And after he tells me they don't even carry the part, when it's pretty obvious to me that it's just as likely he can't manipulate the inventory computer. He then proceeds to reccomend that "if I thought I had a bad check vavle, I'd just bypass it."

yeah, thanks for the free advice. it was worth every penny.

[ridesideways]

me and some friends got into a discussion with this redneck guy from fairbanks, alaska about how fast electricity travels along a wire. he was convinced that it traveled 1 foot per second-- he had seen it on a science show. we kept giving him examples of lightning, etc., and explaining it traveled incredibly fast at nearly the speed of light. but he is not listening-- he knows better than us.

so then one of my friends grabs an old extension cord, cuts the female end off to expose the two wires. my friend says, "here you hold these two wires and i'll plug in the extension cord. since electricity only travels 1 foot/second, you'll have plenty of time to let go before you get shocked." well the dudes eyes light up like a christmas tree and all of a sudden he's like "no way man i'll get electrocuted."

so then we're all laughing and telling him "but it's a 25 foot cord and the electricity travels at 1 foot per second-- dude, you have PLENTY OF TIME to let go..."

needless to say he gave up and the argument ended and he didn't get electrocuted. LOL

[monte55]

me and some friends got into a discussion with this redneck guy from fairbanks, alaska about how fast electricity travels along a wire. he was convinced that it traveled 1 foot per second-- he had seen it on a science show. we kept giving him examples of lightning, etc., and explaining it traveled incredibly fast at nearly the speed of light. but he is not listening-- he knows better than us.

so then one of my friends grabs an old extension cord, cuts the female end off to expose the two wires. my friend says, "here you hold these two wires and i'll plug in the extension cord. since electricity only travels 1 foot/second, you'll have plenty of time to let go before you get shocked." well the dudes eyes light up like a christmas tree and all of a sudden he's like "no way man i'll get electrocuted."

so then we're all laughing and telling him "but it's a 25 foot cord and the electricity travels at 1 foot per second-- dude, you have PLENTY OF TIME to let go..."

needless to say he gave up and the argument ended and he didn't get electrocuted. LOL

Actually you guys didn't come out looking too smart on that one......sorry...I callesm as I seesem.

[spotsineyes]

I would have liked to find out his reasoning as to why 1 ft./sec.

[monte55]

Maybe he has really really really really really really really big feet

[BudMan580]

Ok, so we tell a guy at work, take this coil of line (rope) up to the roof and throw it down to us and we'll tie the piece on. 5 minutes later, the ENTIRE coil comes crashing down, still coiled!
A friend is telling me that they get a new guy on the job. They need to pull a measurement with a hundred foot tape, but the first inch or so is broken off the tape. They tell the guy to walk down with the end of the tape and when he sees the mark they painted in the day before hold the tape on one foot. He pulls the tape tight and is wondering why the measurement is so far off, until he looks at the other guy.......Holding the end of the tape and.......balancing on one foot!!!!!!!
Can't make this crap up!!

[fun4now]

good thing you didnt tell himto burn a ft.