"it should only take a few minutes..."

[Winger Ed.]

My Favorite one was....


"Can you fix this (cast IRON) tie rod off my old tractor?"
Me "why yes I can"
"how long will it take?"
ME "about an hour and a half"
"why so long"
ME "cause these things take time"
"cant you just weld it up?"
ME "sure I can"

The Next week:

"your **** weld broke"
ME "thats unfortunate"

This was one of the best threads we've had here.
Thanks for bringing it back.

Your experience reminded me of a old Geezer I know....
One of his favorite things to say along those lines was:

"Hmmm,,,,,,, OK ,,,,,,, (scratch head for a moment),,,,,
Do you want the job done fast, correctly, or cheap?
---- You can only Pick 2"..........

The deal was:
Fast & correct darn sure wasn't going to be cheap.
Correct & cheap was done several months later when the shop was slow.
Fast and cheap needs no explanation.

.

[mikeswelding]

Higher their degree is, the more common sense they lose...
i agree 110%

2 ranchers were talking one day and one says his boy is off to college. Wants to get a BS. Well, these 2 ranchers know what BS is. Then the first one says after his boy gets a BS, he wants to get an MS. Only thing the ranchers could think this would stand for is More of the Same. Then he says his boy wants to go on and get a PhD. They figure this must mean Piled Higher and Deeper. And they are right.

[Bert]

Looks like Blackbird 455 was the one who brought it back

[AnotherDano]

"it should only take a few minutes..."

The correct response is:

Good, I can spare that much time to watch you do it.

[fjk]

Hi

I love this thread -- when I saw the new postings, I went back
and re-read the whole thing -- and still have a smile on my face..

Just so all you professional weldors don't start feeling
paranoid that the "it will take only 5 minutes" crowd is
singling you out

- I took some adult-ed classes in welding & learned
just enough to know that I don't know much about the
art. Anyway, about every 3 months a neighbor or friend
says "Hey! you know how to _weld_!?!? could you fix
my... it should only take a few minutes"
The funny part is that the two things I have fixed
for people ... neither one needed welding, both were
soldered. At least it was an excuse to go buy some
a small torch and some low-temp solder and small clamps
and stuff....

(When they ask if I can fix something important I
tell them that they should someone who really
does know what he's doing to fix it ...)

so the "just 5 minutes" crowd loves us amateurs too

- I'm a software developer during the day. About once
a month one of the big cheeses comes by and says
"We need X done now, it should only take a day"
(the software equivalent to "only 5 minutes" of
welding & fab, I guess)

If I'm feeling particularly ornery, I'll say
"No it won't" and then spell out chapter
and verse as to why... If I'm feeling particularly
snarky, I just say "ok" and three days later when
they come by and say "It was only supposed to take a day"
I start the spelling lesson.

the "just 5 minutes" crowd doesn't stick to "manual trades"
or the like -- in fact, they don't even stick to things of which
they know nothing... the big cheese at work who always
wants the software done in "a day" used to be a software
engineer himself....

i guess the 5-minuters are equal-opportunity weenies

Frank

[JDM]

I do some farm work repairs on the side for people in my hometown. Farmers never argue about prices, they just say, "Get it done." Everybody else tries to haggle prices.

[griff01]

A lady called last Thursday about her husband's aluminum boat. Said it had a couple of small holes in the bottom (???). She was sure it would be easy to fix and could I just "quick weld" the holes so hubby could go fishing Saturday.

I was too busy to get to the job before the middle of this week so she went elsewhere.

My question is : Can someone tell me what "quick weld" means?

Griff

[aametalmaster]

I don't mind at all because 90% of my welding projects come from fixing someone's botched up earlier fix...Bob

[starweld]

I am curious, what is everyones locale, and what are the going rates?

[IRONLORE]

I was an auto mechanic for about 20 years before going into welding full-time. The 5 minute folks are even worse there. They want it done yesterday, unlimited warranty on the job forever and try to beat you down on the prices on everything. When I got into welding I started dealing with farmers and ranchers mostly who knew how long things take to do right.
They pay up front sometimes even. I know that if I do a "deal" on a welding job, they usually think I should fix it into infinity as it wears out.

Glenn