She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room
table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound
of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay. When she had
finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp
shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods.
She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned
with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the
house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning and mopping and airing the
place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.
Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit ...
Repairmen refused to work in the house ... The maid quit.
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their pr ice in half, they could not
find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the
local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to
purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told
her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she
missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce
settlement in exchange for getting the house back ...
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a
price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth...But only if she
were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers
delivered the paperwork.
A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they
watched the moving the moving company pack everything to take to their new home
... including the curtain rods.
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Thread: Humor Thread
04-07-2007, 02:14 PM #17Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2007
- asheville n.c.