1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of
boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply
using the sink.
4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while,
thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from
rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be
afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget
about the tooth ache.
AND..... Sometimes we just need to remember what the Rules of Life really
You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it
should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.
Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
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Thread: Humor Thread
03-24-2007, 09:48 PM #11Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2007
- asheville n.c.