>>>>>Europeans Heighten Threat Levels
>>>>>
>>>>>The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist
>>>>>threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to
"Peeved".
>>>>>Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to
"Irritated" or
>>>>>even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the
>>>>>blitz began in 1940 and tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists
have
>>>>>been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance". The
last
>>>>>time the British issued "A Bloody Nuisance"
>>>>>warning level was during the great fire of 1666.
>>>>>
>>>>>Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised
its
>>>>>terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels
in
>>>>>France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated
by a
>>>>>recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively
>>>>>paralyzing the country's military capability.
>>>>>
>>>>>It's not only the English and French who are on a heightened level
of
>>>>>alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and
>>>>>excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels
remain:
>>>>>"Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
>>>>>
>>>>>The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful
Arrogance"
>>>>>to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two
higher
>>>>>levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose".
>>>>>
>>>>>Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the
only
>>>>>threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
>>>>>
>>>>>The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to
deploy.
>>>>>These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new
Spanish
>>>>>navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.