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a thread celebrating the "not so bright"

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  • welder_one
    started a topic a thread celebrating the "not so bright"

    a thread celebrating the "not so bright"

    not too long ago, a man brought a trailer to me fro me to weld a piece of metal onto the tailgate. i cut and fit and pull out the machine to start welding. my hood is the miller elite '27 roadster and as i put it on, this man commented on my hood. i siad thanks. i then say cover and flip my hood down. after a few good tacks i hear the man yell "holy s**t" i look up quickly thinking that i started a fire and i see him holding his eyes. i said whats up and he said dang that light is bright. i told him that you are not supposed to look at the light. without missing a beat, he asked "well how are you looking at it?" resisting the urge of saying that keep my eyes shut while welding, i told him that the lens in the hood filters the light. he walked off, so i struck arc again. after about 5-10 more minutes, i hear him yell again and this time thinking "lesson learned" there really is a fire this time. i look at him and he is still holding his eyes and saying that it didnt work. "what didnt work" i asked. he handed me a pair of sunglasses. i asked him to leave and i would call him when the trailer was done. later he returns to pick up the trailer and i told him about potatoes and vicks rub for his eyes, we talked about drunk chickens. and how he had a hard time getting a beer can stuffed in a chicken. i told him about a can holder that i made that holds the can and has a leading edge to cut into the chicken and the push the can from the bottom while removing the tool. i made it out of aluminum. he said that he didnt want a chicken that had been in contact with a piece of aluminum. "what do you think a beer can is made of?" i asked. he said not aluminum. where do these people come from???

  • bluejay
    replied
    Originally posted by monte55 View Post
    lotechman and enlpck have it right. What are you talking about?
    Looks like he is refering to comments made on August 11, 2008 starting at post #71. I was confused (Edit: by the comment) as well.

    J
    Last edited by bluejay; 04-30-2010, 06:46 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • monte55
    replied
    Originally posted by seattle smitty View Post
    Oh, well. I don't get why you don't get my post, but I should have stayed out of it . . . I'm usually out of it in any case
    lotechman and enlpck have it right. What are you talking about?

    Leave a comment:


  • seattle smitty
    replied
    Oh, well. I don't get why you don't get my post, but I should have stayed out of it . . . I'm usually out of it in any case

    Leave a comment:


  • monte55
    replied
    Originally posted by seattle smitty View Post
    Sorry, Monte; lotechman and enlpck have it right.

    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electric_current or just Google something like "electric current flow".

    (it's not one foot per second, however!)
    Don't get your post

    Leave a comment:


  • seattle smitty
    replied
    Sorry, Monte; lotechman and enlpck have it right.

    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electric_current or just Google something like "electric current flow".

    (it's not one foot per second, however!)
    Last edited by seattle smitty; 04-29-2010, 01:17 PM.

    Leave a comment:


  • Coburn_Performance
    replied
    We had a kid fresh out of school that knew everything ...we had a bunch of plate to cut and he wanted to do it. I passed him the torch, he's looking at the lines and trying to figure something out (could see the wheels turning). Then he asked me which to turn on first the O or the A. I just looked at him and told him that I thought he would have learned that in school. He said he couldn't remember, to which I replied, "ever light air on fire?" (I know air is 78% Nitrogen, but that wasn't the point). He just looked blank. So I told him to just turn on one and try to light it, when you find the one that produces a flame, that's the right one. He lasted a week .

    Leave a comment:


  • Daniel
    replied
    Send the new kid on a chase for the raised mesh stretcher as I told him that I cut the mesh one inch to short. Took about 1/2 hour before he came back swearing a little. Our shop is 3 building together plus one across the road.
    Welding shop, steel shop, machine shop everybody knows about the stretcher chase.
    So he goes to 1 guy and this guy gave it to the other that left it across the street with the other guy and so on. Always a blast

    I wouldn't call the guy not so bright, it is very easy to get fooled when your young and learning. LOL

    Leave a comment:


  • Ranch Hand
    replied
    Like Ron White (Blue Collar Comedy tour) says, "You can't fix stupid!"

    Leave a comment:


  • hockeyguynick
    replied
    Some of these stories are almost too crazy to even beleive...yet I don't doubt any of you. I'm not sure how some of these people are still alive to this day.
    'Nother supervisor story. My olds job I was a tractor trailer mechanic, and we went out on road calls to do repairs on the highway. A kid on my shift hated working OT and whined about being on call (yet he is friends with the day shift boss's son, so he knows what kinda hours we work before he applied for the job) One night while I was working on something, and he was standing around, my boss sent him out of a road call, it was about 10:45, he said "No way, I'm not on call" to which he was told, "Well Nick is busy, and it's not on call, yuo are still on the clock"...well they got to fighting, and long story short, I ran the call, and when I got back, he had quit. Well, not a week later he shows up to work 1st shift. The day shift manager hired him behind the night guy's back basically. He didn't have to run on call for a while until we got too busy, and left 10-30 minutes before quittin time every day. They finally fired him after tearing up a set of brand spankin new Alcoa steer rims with a tire bar. His response "well I replaced the tires the same way as I would have on a steel rim"... well steel doesnt scratch quite as bad as aluminum

    Someone needs to send this thread to Bill Engvall

    Leave a comment:


  • welder_one
    replied
    today, went out on a job to do so,me structural welding for a construction company. they had to raise and set 33 lb foot i-beam 14 foot tall and bolt it down to support some aggregate piping. ever notice on a boom lift where it says "500 pound capacity" and "do not use boom to lift materials" warning tags??? jlg 60 foot boom lift, 2 guys, weighing about 250 each, 14 foot beam.................. yup, it went end over end when they swung out over the steer tires..... i giggled for about 2.23 seconds until i noticed that peeps had been badly hurt... it was the job foreman running that machine... wow

    Leave a comment:


  • On fire most of the time
    replied
    I was working on a hotel in Palm Desert, replacing some old ceiling track (I was the new guy on the job...but I wasn't the one that ended up injured)

    We were taking out 10 foot sections of steel track that were bolted to structural I beams...each 10 foot section was about 170 pounds or so. What I will refer to as the closet was a 200lb+ beast.

    When this happened, most of the track was out of the ceiling, and just the closets were left. 2 guys are up on a scissor lift attempting to unbolt this thing from its brackets...and they aren't having much luck. They request the sawzall to just cut the all thread (which is perfectly fine...we're still doing demo work). I walk it over and hand it up. They go back into the air. 10 minutes later, I hear *CLANG THUD WHAM* Followed by "Mother F******!!!" The Supervisor (who only SOMETIMES acts like a stupidvisor) runs over there.

    They had cut the all thread, except for one tiny spot they had missed, and had shaken the track. It still hadn't come out, so they were coming DOWN the scissor lift. It released, and one of the guys had his arm on the scissor lift rail. Broke his arm and wrist in a few places. I consider them lucky for not getting any further down than they were, or it would've rotated and been a massive head injury.

    Leave a comment:


  • travlinbumm
    replied
    I was trying to training a "new" guy a while back. He had done his weld test and interview with the day shift Leadman but they put him on the night shift so he became my responsibility.

    He quickly pointed out that he had been welding/fitting longer than I had been alive, done it all and seen it all. "just stay outa my way sonny and watch how its done."

    I handed him the print and gave him the normal run down, then went to work on something else. Came back ten minutes later and he's just looking at the print, so I ask him if he has any questions. He tells me the prints are all F ed up. They don’t show the proper dimensions. I tell him the parts are located on the plate off the center line. He points at the print and says "I see that, but it doesn't tell me where the center is"

    Later in the week he is fitting a door into a hopper wall, he basically picked up a 250 pound piece of 1/2" plate two feet off the table with an old plate magnet, then bent over and put his head under it to check something. I was walking/running towards him from the opposite end off the shop, about 150 feet. He was poking around with his head under that plate for a good ten seconds before he decided to see what I was yelling about. I explained to him that the magnets can fail unexpectedly, dropping whatever their holding, and that he should be extra careful when using the old style magnets. He looks at me like I'm a dump a$$ and says "Don't worry, it's just gunna fall on the table…… it can't hit my toes."

    He no longer works for us.

    Leave a comment:


  • welder_one
    replied
    here's yet another one... this morning, i was out at a job site bidding on a railing around a campus facility at UCA. i overheard an operator talking to the foreman on the radio claiming that the vibratory roller wouldnt vibrate. i told the foreman what the operator needed to do in order to get it to work. "start the machine, buckle the belt, dis-engage the park brake, put machine into gear, and push the vibrate button". The foreman walked me over to the machine, so i could explain this new operator on how to operate this machine. once i started explaining this to the operator, he promptly interrupted me and said " son, ive been running this stuff for going on 20 years now, i know how to run the dam* things" so, i hopped in the chair, started the machine........ pushed the button and off it went. the operator asked me what i did, i told him that the machine must have feared 20 years experience, but liked "kids" that listen

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  • Burnt hands
    replied
    Great thread - true experiences are much better than urban legends!

    Many years ago, I called to order some pizzas for a party.
    Since the party was out of town, the host recommended the pizza shop.

    I called and asked what size the large pizzas were, expecting to hear: "it's xx inches in diameter" but the girl replied "8 slices".

    Caught me off guard but we still placed the order.

    After I hung up, I realized that I should have said " oh 8 slices is too much, can you cut it into 6 slices"?.

    But she probably would not have gotten the joke.

    Leave a comment:

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