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Cheesy Welder Jokes Anyone?

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  • Cheesy Welder Jokes Anyone?

    add one if you got one...no joke too cheesy!!!

    A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display.
    While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper,
    "I'll have an AutoCAD monkey please." The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a
    cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fitted a collar and
    leash, handed it to the customer, saying, "That'll be $5000." The customer
    paid and walked out with his monkey.
    Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very
    expensive monkey. Most of them are only few hundred dollars. Why did that
    one cost so much?" The Shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey can draw in
    AutoCAD - very fast, clear layouts, no mistakes, well worth the money."

    The tourist looked at a monkey in another cage. "That one's even more
    expensive! $10,000! What does it do?"
    "Oh, that one's a Design monkey; it can design systems, layout projects,
    mark-up drawings, write specifications, some even calculate. All the really
    useful stuff," said the shopkeeper.

    The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in its
    own cage. The price tag around its neck read $50,000. He gasped to the
    shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the others put together! What on
    earth does it do?"

    The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven't actually seen it do anything, but
    it says it's a Welding Inspector.
    Boone Homes Jr

  • #2
    from a laborer that i worked with:

    "what do you say to a guy with an IQ of 4?"
    ...
    ...
    ...
    "Tack it."

    to which we responded:

    "how do you confuse a laborer?"
    ...
    ...
    ...
    "Throw 3 shovels on the ground and tell him to take his 'pick'."


    and my personal fave is more of a one liner:

    "You know they can teach monkeys to weld."
    "Yeah but THEY quit after they get burned once."
    American By Birth, Union by Choice!

    4th generation Pipefitters LU 537

    SpeedGlass 9000x Hood
    Miller Elite Titanium 9400 Hood

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    • #3
      What do welders and wheel barrows have in common?

      They're hard to push around and easily upset
      Big Blue 400D
      Trailblazer 302
      Miller S-32 suitcase
      12VS suitcase
      Lincoln LN-7 (BIG suitcase)
      Victor torches
      Lincoln 350MP with 35' push-pull gun
      Lincoln PrecisionTIG 375
      Spectrum 1000 plasma cutter

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      • #4
        How are welders like prostitutes?

        You usually find them in awkward positions screaming for more rod & more money.

        J
        "When the wise old rooster crows, the smart young rooster listens."

        Comment


        • #5
          Jason wins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
          I'm not late...
          I'm just on Hawaiian Time

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by jasonspoon View Post
            How are welders like prostitutes?

            You usually find them in awkward positions screaming for more rod & more money.

            J


            Thats a good one.

            Comment


            • #7
              How many welders does it take to change a lightbulb?

              None. Welders aren't afraid of the dark.

              Comment


              • #8
                What's the difference between a welder and a baby?











                A baby eventually stops cryin' and grows up.
                Proud Member of Local 7 - Plumbers and Steamfitters

                AMERICAN by BIRTH - UNION by CHOICE



                -Miller Dynasty 200DX
                -Hobart Handler 140
                -Tons of other crap that my lovely wife wants me to get rid of but I know I'll need if I do

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                • #9
                  how do you get a welder to bath....








                  put his food stamps under the soap

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by toddac1 View Post
                    how do you get a welder to bath....








                    put his food stamps under the soap
                    welders get food stamps

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